Last Minute Gift Idea!!!

Ok, i know nobody is in this boat, but just in case I thought I'd throw out a fantastic last minute gift idea to everyone. This gift is good for young and old, men and women, anyone who sleeps will love it.

May I introduce to you the world's perfect gift, The Headless, legless, quarter torso cuddle arm...


That's right, the headless, legless quarter torso cuddle arm. Its great for all ages. As the ad states (click here for link to actual product)...

"the Hug Me pillow provides comfort as well as piece of mind".

And who could argue with with that. There's nothing more I love than cuddling up to warmth and affection you you get from the headless, armless, quarter torso at night. And oh, that piece of mind, knowing that my special someone...er...thing is there to protect me. Imagine the look on the burglar's face when they break in and realize that you're not alone. No, you've got the headless, legless, quarter torso there to protect you.
Don't worry Gents, I've found the answer for you as well, complete with pink shirt and actual breast*...



More of a leg man you say? Well may I present to you the lower half of the magicians assistant (aka the woman he sawed in half). Honestly, I don't know how I've gotten along this far in life without having one of these beauties.


Look at how happy these guys are, I can never seem to get that relaxed when I sleep on the floor in my suit...

I'm not a marketing genius, but maybe they should consider expanding their product line to include a decapitated foot dog bed.

EDITORS NOTE TO ALL FAMILY AND FRIENDS: UNFORTUNATELY I ALREADY HAVE ONE OF EACH OF THESE, but still perfect for everyone, you know, other than me, since I already have the entire set (or roughly enough to make 3/4's of an actual person).

*not an actual breast